Welcome to my blog! I’ll have posts on kink, design, and kinky design that aim to entertain and/or educate, as well as news and events in the San Francisco Bay Area kink scene. An extensive event calendar is here.
You may already have years in the kink world, but you may also be just starting out, or even exploring whether kink—in whatever amount and flavor—is for you. You may encounter new words, or words used in a different way, which can be confusing.
Here’s a great basic glossary, from the article Thinking Kink: A blog on BDSM, feminism and pop culture. (Wikipedia has a more extensive list, including a few I’ve never encountered, such as figging, the practice of inserting a piece of ginger root into the anus or vagina, and nose torture, a traditionally Japanese form of BDSM often involving nose hooks. There’s something for everyone!)
Some of the most common terms:
BDSM = Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sado-Masochism. Also referred to by the general term ‘kink.’
Vanilla = non-BDSM activities. Some may call this ‘normal,’ but kinksters tend to steer clear of this term.
Play = any BDSM activity, undertaken with a ‘play partner.’ ‘Play parties’ are where people publicly practice BDSM in a fetish club, rented space or private house.
Safeword = a pre-agreed term used to end a scene. [My addition: Any partner—Top, bottom, or other—can end a scene.] ‘No’ or ‘Stop’ may be part of an erotic script, so to avoid confusion many folks use a traffic light system, where ‘Red’ means ‘Stop everything immediately,’ Yellow means ‘Ease up/Don’t go any harder,’ and ‘Green” means ‘Go, go, go!.’ Others just use ‘Safeword,’ and some choose their own random, unrelated terms. ‘Hedgehog,’ ‘Lyndon Johnson’—whatever works.
A scene = a session of BDSM activity, often undertaken using specific roles and names, with negotiated acts, ground rules and (usually) safewords
The scene = the BDSM community
Hard Limit = Any activity you absolutely do not want to do during a scene
Top, Dom/me, Dominant, Sadist, Master, Mistress, Daddy etc. = person who likes to take control during a scene [My addition: ‘and/or likes to inflict sensation or pain’].
Bottom, Submissive (Sub), Masochist, Slave, Pet, Boy etc. = person who likes to be controlled during a scene [My addition: ‘and/or likes to experience sensation or pain’].
Switch = person who likes to alternate between dominant and submissive roles
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